I'll see you in a little while

Dear Dad,
Some time ago I wrote to you telling you of the love I'd found--wishing you could be here to see my happiness. I was wrong. What you would have seen had you been watching was your little girl fooling herself into believing what she wanted to believe. I was not happy. I was far from happy. I'm happy now. I would believe you're smiling now, if I believed you possessed that which is necessary in order to smile.

I listened to a song last night that I've listened to many times before. I cried this time.

It's about a young man who loses the girl he loves, but maintains the belief that one day he will see her again. Here are some lyrics.

I hope that you'll stay for the night
I've made the bed and I've saved your side
Make me over, bring me to the light
Until the sunshine opens my eyes
Wake with a smile and I'll
I'll see you in a little while

When it's over, all said and done
Bags packed, tags checked, front of the line
I'll lay in clover, under the sun
Lift my eyes up to the sky and smile cause I'll
I'll see you in a little while

I sat in the car after I parked and listened again. I looked to the sky and thought hard for a few minutes, then cried some more. Sometimes I wish so much that I could believe what they believe. That I could forget what my mind tells me and let myself think there's a chance that you're up there. That you're watching me. That you're reading this. Your energy is not gone, but you are. Things won't be the same. I love you.