Don't think 'cause I understand, I care...don't think 'cause I'm talking, we're friends

I present to you story numero dos. It's not as good as the original, but then nothing ever is.

Again, blue= Kathleen; purpe= Jen; green= Dan

Jen: Let's write a new story.
While Mr. O was driving to work from his home in Ames one day...

Kathleen: Dan, who was in the passenger seat, put Mr. O's weiner in his mouth. Mr. O, overcome by the pleasure of Dan's erotic BJ, swerved off the road and...

Dan: ...drove right into a massive gel-filled dildo! Now this wasn't just any dildo...this was the world's largest dildo! And it was purple by the way, minor detail.

Dan had never seen anything so beautiful before in his life. Dildos were his favorite things in the world after cocks, and purple was his favorite color. He had to have that beautiful thing in his anus. Unfortunately...

Mr. O had already placed his 2-inch weiner in Dan's butthole, blocking it (barely) from this heavenly dildo. "Mr. O," Dan said to his lover gently, "you know that after the many many men who've buttfucked me, I can hardly feel your tiny cock in my anus." Mr. O understood, because even at a whopping 2.5 inches, Dan's dick was much too small as well. After much deliberation, the couple decided to...

Learn some math! Yay!!

So, the began to study math. Sadly, Dan could not understand the complex mathematics. Mr. O needed a new idea to teach Dan. Knowing Dan waas good at chemistry, Mr. O applied the concept to a chemistry problem. The plan worked! They began to study chemistry, but since chemistry happens fast, they...

...ended up having crazy, crazy sex.

And it was great, not like I just had a birthday great, but like I just got a new pair of space boots with moon dust on them great.

And that was quite great. However, they did not use a condom. Two months later, Dan found out...

...that Mr. O was pregnant with a rhinosaurus fetus. The same rhinosaurus fetus, in fact, that Dan had eaten just months before. Which is pretty fucked up, if you ask me.

And everyone knows that men can't have babies, so what it really means is that he either stuck it up his butt a few months ago or was storing it in his freezer...weird.

After much detective work, Detective Dan discovered that the rhinosaurus had been stored in the freezer. Mr. O had plans to feign pregnancy to collect child support from Dan.

Unfortunately for Mr. O (but fortunately for Dan), Dan was poor and now needed to work the streets giving blowjobs for crack. Err...child support money.

But dan would never work the streets because he has no respect for people who don't try!

Then a kind lady who worked the streets took Dan aside and explained what it meant to work the streets. "You perform sex acts," she explained. "I can have sex and GET PAID??" Dan inquired. He thought that was a great idea. He wanted to start work immediately. He...

...asked the nice lady if she knew of an unoccupied corner with a significant majority of male customers so he could start sucking cock right away. Dan loved the cock. The old lady replied...

"Sorry hun but you ain't gonna make no money with dim lips, they ain't no dick suckin' lips, dim is clit suckin' lips." Upon this news Dan was extremely happy because now this meant that he could eat tacos and get paid for it!!

While this sounded like a win-win plan, Dan became disgruntled to find that women do not have to pay for sex. He did not have any customers, and even if he did, he was not very good at it, anyway. Andy remained the only one who ate tacos.

Dan resorted to sucking cock, after all (despite that fact that his lips weren't quite cut out for it). Besides, pleasuring men was Dan's true calling, and he was passionate about his work.

But he hated the taste of weiner and loved taco so he decided that if he couldn't get business then he would have to start raping and assaulting extremely hot women civilians.

Civilians? Oh yeah, we forgot to mention that Dan was a male prostitute for the Navy. (Ironic, is it not?) However, no women civilians were on the sub when he sailed out to sea for six months.

Which ended up being good for Dan because, as previously mentioned, he absolutely LOVED the cock. Luckily for Dan, Mr. O was assigned to the same ship! The reunited and...

Scissored! He scissored me timbers!



End story #2.
Gosh, I hope my mother reads my blog.